&& she may seem so perfect but behind it all..shes just an accident waiting to happen

this is where the hurting starts & the nightmare begins.

the girl who always looks sad but claims she’s fine.
the girl who puts sad away messages up everyday.
the girl who when she sees you, smiles a half a smile.
the girl who always has time to listen to you vent and is willing to give her opinion to help you in anyway that she can.
the girl who cares about helping everyone but herself.
the girl who cries every night before she goes to sleep.
the girl who pretends that she’s okay while she's dying inside.
the girl who says she’s happy for you when you get a new girlfriend while jealousy is raging inside her.
the girl who hugs you when you’re down but secretly wishes she could hug you forever.
the girl who tries to look beautiful even though she knows she’s not.
the girl who says that she’ll always be there for you & means it.
that’s me that is the story of my life

You should know by now that when I smile and say "yeah, I'm fine" it's really code for "no I'm not okay and I feel like my world is crashing down around me"

& yet she still sits there smiling;;
regardless of all the fake friends.
&& the dreams that were broken.
regardless of the guys she loved
and the hearts that were broken.

I know how it feels
to sit on the edge of your bed
head in your hands
wishing it would all just end...

grave digger, when you dig my grave.. will you make it shallow, so that i can feel the rain

Not even make up could make her
beautiful... Because real beauty
comes from loving yourself and
that's something she can never do

I dream of giving birth to a child who will ask "Mommy, What was war?"

she's just the typical teenage girl..
angry, insecure, confused.
i'd tell her that things will be okay..
but i don't want to [ lie ] to her

see, when her away message says not to IM her because she’s sad or depressed, the only thing she wants at that moment is for you to IM her

ALL SHE WANTS TO BE iS BEAUTiFUL..
she`s gorgeous. she`s beautiful. she stares in the mirror
and hates what she sees. she spends hours in the morning
fixing her hair, putting on make-up, && still hating her
reflection. she exercises five hours a day, starves herself
skinny, makes herself throw up at night. she goes in
depression. starts cutting herself. she spends thousands to
go under the knife to change the beauty she already had.
she`s beautiful. anyone can see it; except her. why can`t
she just learn to love herself instead of putting herself
through all this agony? she`s never good enough for
herself. doesn`t see what the point of her living is. life
is hopeless for her. she gets an overdose && feels the
rush of death.
.. ANOTHER WASTED LiFE. </3

The girl who seemed unbreakable--broke
The girl who seemed so strong--crumbled
The girl who always laughed it off--cried
&& the girl who would never stop trying--Finally gave up

Have you ever felt so alone and nothing makes sense? Well that's how I feel right now I feel like I'm facing everything by myself, with nothing but tears and a fake smile.

I'm tired of being sad. I'm tired of crying. I'm tired of feeling empty inside. I'm tired of feeling worthless. I'm tired of feeling stuck. I'm tired of feeling crazy. I'm tired of being alone. I'm tired of yelling. I'm tired of pretending. I'm tired of dreaming of a life I will never have. I'm tired of missing things. I'm tired of missing people. I'm tired of remembering. I'm tired of wishing I could start all over. I'm tired of not being able to just let go. I'm tired of faking it. I'm tired of being different. I'm tired of being angry. I'm tired of needing help. I'm tired of always wondering when God is finally going to let me be happy. Most of all, I'm just I'm tired of being tired.

The cracks in the concrete remind that no matter how strong you are, you will always fall apart at some point in your life.

 

The sky isn't always blue. The sun doesn't always shine. So it's okay to fall apart sometimes.

Snapshots of priceless moments cover her walls. She thinks back to a time where she didn't have to
fake a smile ...it just graced her face so naturally. Back then, life was so worth living. Now she thinks its more worth not to. Why pretend to love? Why pretend to laugh? Why pretend to live?...she's dead inside...

she wakes back up and knows she has to face reality

These Days
everyone is depressed;
No one cares about your personality anymore.
There are few songs with out cuss words.
You bring up the Lord && people look at you weird.
You stand up for someone && get called a bad name &
the type of clothing you wear describes you.
How much money you have gives you your popularity.
Everyone breaks each others hearts && doesn’t think much of it
you can become so lonely.. And no one would notice  

IT'S FUNNY -- how hello is always accompanied with goodbye. IT'S FUNNY -- how good memories can start to make you cry. IT'S FUNNY -- how forever never seems to really last. IT'S FUNNY -- how much you'd lose if you forgot about your past. IT'S FUNNY -- how friends can just leave you when you’re down. IT'S FUNNY -- how when you need someone, they're never around. IT'S FUNNY -- how people change and think they're so much better. IT'S FUNNY -- how many lies can be packed in one “love letter". IT'S FUNNY -- how people can forgive even though they can't forget. IT'S FUNNY -- how one night can contain so much regret. IT'S FUNNY -- how ironic life turns out to be. But the funniest part of all... None of that seems funny to me.

She could shut out the whole world including herself

 

I can’t stand it when people ask me what’s wrong....cause in life...something is ALWAYS wrong. It’s like there's no need to ask anymore. But somehow...my friends just keep on asking. I guess that is a sign that they really do care about me...it just doesn't seem like it right now.

Do you think its easy being me? Do you think its easy putting on the act that I do everyday? I smile when all I want to do is cry... I laugh when all I want to do is die.. I want to tell everyone how my world falls apart each night when I am laying in bed with tears in my eyes, pleading with god to help me. I want to let everyone know what it is like to be me, pretending to be happy... pretending to like myself, If it was up to me, I wouldn't be pretending, I would actually be happy... Too bad its not.

Sometimes I feel like nobody has held me down and forced me to cry, or made me hug them, or seen the inside of me. I just say "Oh I'm fine" and walk away. Nobody's ever said to me "No, you're not”

When you asked me what was wrong I said “nothing”……. After you left I whispered everything.

If you look inside a girls heart, you'd see how much she really cries. You'll find secrets hidden, best friends and lies, but what you'll see the most is how hard it is to stay strong when nothings right and everything is wrong.

This isn't a perfect world, people get hurt. You smile when you feel like crying, you act like you're okay when you're falling apart, but you got to let go and move on...because there's nothing else you can do.

Just because I can force a smile doesn’t mean I'm happy, and just because I can fake a laugh doesn’t mean I'm okay

 

A strong girl keeps her shit in line, and with tears running down her face, she still manages to whisper the simple words "I'm Fine."

 

"One day, a girl was sitting on a bench next to an old man, and she said, "I've gotta tell ya', mister, that's an awfully boring tattoo on your arm there. It's just a bunch of numbers." And the man looks at her, and says, "Well, I got it when I was your age, and I kept it as a reminder." The girl smiles, saying, "Oh, a reminder of happier times?" And the man shakes his head sadly, and says, "No...of a time when the world went mad. Imagine yourself in a land where your countrymen followed the voice of political extremists who didn't like your religion. Imagine having everything taken from you, and being sent to a camp as slave laborers, then systematically murdered. In this place, they even take your name and replace it with a number tattooed on your arm. It was called the Holocaust, when millions of people perished just because of their faith..." The girl, stunned, start to cry. She asks, "So you kept it to remind yourself of the dangers of political extremism?" The man shakes his head again. "No, my dear. To remind you."

 

A senior in high school
straight A's too
Never once got the chance to say "I do"
..Her life, taken by one careless mistake,
the person in the other car decided to make
he had a few drinks and thought he was fine..
But he must have really been out of his mind..
as my teardrops flow onto your icy grave
I know at once you'd want me to be brave
--drinking and driving just don’t mix--
so please don’t put them together like this
cause it might be your teardrops on your best friend's grave
and honestly I wish I could be brave
but bravery like yours is so hard to find..
-when the only time you'll see your best friend again. is in your mind

A heart of gold stopped beating,
Hard working hands now rest.
God broke our hearts to prove to us he only takes the best.
We think of you in silence,
we often speak your name,
 all we have are memories,
your picture in a frame.
A million times we've thought of you,
a million times we've cried.
If love alone could have saved you,
 you never would have died.
It broke our hearts to lose you,
 but you didn’t go alone.
For a part of us went with you the day God took you home.

Behind every beautiful thing, there is some kind of pain.